If Only.......

- Despots, tyrants and dictators had been made obsolete 3000 years ago....

- The only "drones" were those found in beehives....

- World food production was directed where it is needed, not just where it is wanted.....

- Clean, safe water was available for everyone....

- There was no need for "armed intervention"....

- People could believe that "the other side of politics" isn't out to get them....

- "The other side of politics" trusted the other side of politics....

- Some people would learn to read....

- Some people would learn to comprehend what they read....

- The angst suffered between road users could be made to disappear....

- Everyone could experience the joy that comes from making the pedals go round....

Even making the pedals go round can sometimes bring pain and suffering. Our Saturday group rides have been getting a bit unruly of late. What started out some years ago as a social coffee ride of about a dozen riders has grown (blossomed/swelled/transmogrified/transitioned) into a free-for-all of up to 60 riders.

I had been, until recently, sending out a weekly email to the group with a bit of local cycling news and what was on for the weekend- pretty mundane stuff in the scheme of things but if I didn't send it, inevitably, there would be a text or email- "Is there a ride on Saturday?"

Anyhow, I gave it away- despite my efforts to impart a bit of cycling etiquette to some of the newcomers, they just didn't want to hear it. Erratic behaviour, failure to point out hazards, leaving riders with mechanicals or flats on their own, no consideration for other road users- the list goes on.

After last week's ride when a few "new riders" (new only in the sense of new to our ride- apparently they have been riding for years- you would think they would know better) showed up and displayed their "skills" for all to see, I decided that if those same riders fronted this morning, I would ride off the back and leave them to their own.

Needless to say, Dee and I rode as a group of two this morning. We did manage to catch up to the group after about 20km- they were all standing around waiting for the ambulance to cart off one of the group who was looking decidedly "the worse for wear" after touching wheels with the rider in front of him. A broken collarbone, some road rash, a smashed helmet and some spilled "claret" took a bit of the edge off some of the group. He will be experiencing some pain and suffering for a few days at least.

My weekday rides for the past 18 months have been on my own. I ride as hard as I like for as long as I like- without having to rely on someone else to come through on the front or worrying that I'm going too soft or too hard for those riding with me. I insert intervals where I like and make the ride "mine". Ideally, I head out about 2 to 3 minutes ahead of the two main group rides and work to stay ahead. Sometimes I stay away, other times- well, let's just say I have bad luck at the traffic lights.

Then about two months ago, several riders approached me and asked if they could ride with me. They were tired of the behaviours of the group ride and were looking for a safer option. After a couple of weeks of listening to their requests, I agreed- but these were the rules- this is how I ride- basically, if you don't like it, don't bother coming along.

I have sent one bloke packing- seems he is allergic to fresh air and didn't want to come to the front. That's not the biggest issue- I have been riding solo and if I give an elbow flick, there just isn't anyone to come through and take a pull. As the Velominati would say, "Have a dose of Rule V". My issue comes from dragging his butt along for 20km and then when the group which he wanted to get away from comes by, he jumps in with them. I guess I'm just not high-profile enough....

The bunch that he jumped with make a turn and head through the port area of town- things tend to heat up a bit as far as pace goes so he avoids that part of the ride. We caught up to him in town, at which point I called the court to order, read the charge, provided the evidence, asked for evidence in defence, determined the verdict and issued the sentence in less time than it took for the traffic lights to change.

As for the rest, I have advised them that they're going to have to lift their game. I record all of my rides and over the last couple of weeks the average speed has dropped by a couple of km/hr and the intensity is dropping as well. If things don't turn north this week, well, I just may be back to riding with my group of one. And if anyone misbehaves, I know who to speak with..... I guess I am my own little dictator.

Cheers- ride safe

BoaB